"There are six of us in the family - some still deny there is a problem, some tend to panic and the rest of us feel caught in the middle."

No two families dealing with dementia resolve transportation issues in exactly the same way. Roles and relationships within families can affect decisions about when and how a person should stop driving.

Individual responses of family members may vary. For example, a caregiving spouse may try to protect the person with dementia by withholding information about driving incidents from adult children. An adult child may intervene on matters of safety, even though this might affect the relationship with the parent. One person may avoid confronting the driving concerns of the family member, while another may take charge of the situation and act without input from others.

Caregivers need to remember that family members follow long-established patterns for making decisions. It is unrealistic to think that patterns will change when handling a difficult issue like driving safety. Caregivers can work to minimize friction by listening to different opinions and appreciating what each person can contribute, even if it differs from their point of view.

Disagreements in families are often the result when individuals do not have the same opportunities to assess driving abilities. Having factual information about driving behavior does not guarantee families will reach consensus on when to limit driving. However, frequent, open communication about specific, observed behaviors and concerns may help to lessen differences. Everyone involved in caring for the person with dementia can help by focusing on the key issues - the self-respect of the person with dementia and the safety of everyone on the road.