Who Should Do the Talking

Hearing sensitive information from the right person can make a big difference. To increase the chances of success, carefully select the person who will initiate the discussion. Older adults typically prefer to speak confidentially about driving safety with someone they trust.

Outspoken or authoritative family members are not ideal to open the early discussions on driving, but may better serve as the enforcer of driving decisions later on, if necessary.

Survey Findings
The Hartford/MIT survey indicates that marital status is a significant factor that determines who should have the conversation with the older driver.

• 50% of married drivers prefer to hear about driving concerns first from their spouses. Doctors are a close second, followed by adult children.
• Older drivers living alone prefer to hear first from their doctors, adult children, close friends or other supportive helpers.

Spouses
Men prefer to hear from a spouse slightly more than do women. Spouses have the advantage of observing driving over time and in different situations, as well as years of experience in dealing with sensitive topics and each other's limitations.

Not all married couples choose their spouses for this conversation. More than 15 percent of older men and women said their spouses were their last choice for hearing about driving concerns. That's why it's important to assess individual preferences before having conversations about driving.

Doctors
Outside of the family, the opinions of doctors are often valued by older drivers.

• Almost 33% of those living with spouses and over 40% of those living alone said they want to hear first from their doctor.
• Many older adults think that physicians can precisely determine their ability to drive safely.
• People who have health problems are more likely to listen to driving advice from a doctor.

However, not all doctors agree that they are the best source for making decisions about driving. Physicians may not be able to detect driving problems based on office visits and physical examinations alone.

However, doctors can:

• Assess diminished visual, cognitive and motor skills.
• Refer the driver to an assessment program for evaluation.

This referral may avoid unnecessary conflict when the doctor, family members, and older driver have differing opinions. Family members should work with doctors and share observations about driving behavior and health issues to help older adults make good driving decisions.

Adult Children
Adult children seem to have more influence with parents over 70 than with younger parents in their 50s and 60s. These differences often correlate to health changes and shifts in parent-child relationships later in life. Older drivers also tend to be more open to adult children who live nearby.

Women are generally more receptive than men to hearing from their adult children. Men are slightly more inclined to choose sons over daughters, while women are more likely to choose daughters.

Among individuals living alone:

• 33% said they would prefer to hear about unsafe driving from their adult children.
• Nearly 15% of men and women living alone ranked their children as the last ones from whom they want to hear about driving.

Other Supportive Helpers
Persons other than spouses and adult children may influence driving decisions. Some older adults would be open to hearing from:

• A close friend.
• A sibling.
• An adult child's spouse.

Approximately 10% of older drivers living alone said they would choose a close friend to initiate the driving conversation. These preferences most likely reflect the quality of their relationships.

Police Officers
More than anyone else, older adults strongly prefer not to hear about driving concerns from police officers.

While some older adults may not welcome families talking about their driving, they still find it preferable than hearing from police.

However, police intervention may be necessary in situations where an older driver is unsafe and unwilling to curtail driving.